Join this insightful episode of Hidden Human as Kelly Meerbott explores the art of leadership with Tom Cook, Executive Director of the Delaware River and Bay Authority.
Tom shares his philosophy of collaboration, the importance of trusting employees, and the challenges he’s faced, including handling a fraud incident with transparency and integrity. From early lessons in delegation to current initiatives in diversity and inclusion, Tom emphasizes the need for continuous improvement through coaching and the importance of preparing for future leadership transitions.
Tune in to hear how Tom’s leadership is shaping the future of the DRBA, and why he believes in fostering a work environment where every voice is valued — or watch below!
FULL TRANSCRIPT
Kelly Meerbott
Hey y’all, it’s Kelly Meerbott. Today on Hidden Human we’re talking to Tom Cook, the Executive Director of the Delaware River & Bay Authority. He gives his insights and philosophy on leadership, the importance of continuous learning, and the importance of getting a coach later in life, and this episode is just packed with practical leadership, wisdom and inspiration.
So take a listen and eavesdrop in on our conversation.
Welcome to the space where we reveal our personal humanity to reconnect with our shared humanity. Let’s begin our conversation with Tom Cook, Executive Director of the Delaware River & Bay Authority. Tom, welcome. I’m so excited to talk to you in this way, so let’s get right into it, if you’re okay with that. So if I were a six-year-old child and you were to explain to me in a way, I could understand what it is that an executive director at the Delaware River & Bay Authority does. What would you say to me?
Tom Cook
My job is to make sure that people can get from one place to the other in a safe manner. That’s it. Whether it’s by airline, or by car or by ferry.
Kelly Meerbott
Or by that great bridge! That bridge got me on Eazy Pass. Well, at least I’m contributing to the DRBA, so that made me happy. So Tom, if you would share a pivotal moment in your career that significantly shaped your leadership style, what would be that defining moment
Tom Cook
Early on, I was the controller of an automobile dealership. It was a small staff and everything, but I tried to do everything, and I quickly learned that I can’t do that. I can’t do it all, and you have to really have confidence in your employees and delegate to them, and once you do that, they trust you, you trust them, and the job gets done.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah! And if you — I mean, there’s a lot of leaders out there that tend to micromanage and are and it’s fear based, you and I both know that. What would you say to them about, you know, kind of white knuckling it, which is what micromanagement is. How would you advise them to stop doing that and shift over to what you do.
Tom Cook
Yeah, I think you know you have to really get to know the people that you work with, understand what their roles are, understand their strengths and maybe some of their weaknesses and and be able to then, you know, exploit those strengths and be able to help them with the areas where they need some, some additional help. By doing that, that actually allows for better productivity. Yeah,
Kelly Meerbott
I mean, just like Tom said, that quote and that summary really reminds me of — there’s an African proverb that says, if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. You know, I’ve worked with Tom, let’s say almost a year, right in September, and I have witnessed him leading like that, and what you really do through your leadership and your energies, turn up the volume on what’s great about your people you know, and help guide them away from what’s not. Is that fair to say?
Tom Cook
Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, your people are your number one resource and they are what makes the job get done. So I have the utmost belief in providing them with the best resources.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah, you really are a people centered leader. I mean, it’s obvious, and honestly, that’s what keeps you up at night, right? Managing all of those personalities in addition to bridges, ferries, airports, etc. I mean, like, it’s, it’s a big job. So how would you describe your leadership philosophy, and how has it evolved over time?
Tom Cook
I would call it collaborative. I mean, I’m not one that says, you know, sit in the ivory tower and I bark out orders, and I have all the answers. I think you have to be able to understand, you know, what makes the trains run day in and day out and to be able to get with your employees that are on the ground and understand what they do, because they’re going to give you the best information on what works and what doesn’t work.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah. I mean, we’ve seen that together, right? What Tom really does is listen, absorb that information, and execute on it. That’s really admirable, because there are some people that will do surveys of their organization, like, okay, that’s great data, and they sanitize it and like, never do anything with it. But really, you, you, you take action to make those changes. So what’s the most challenging leadership situation that you’ve been in in your career, and how did you navigate it?
Tom Cook
I was in the government, and we had an employee who was committing fraud, and, you know, it was not a good situation, and it became very highly publicized. And sometimes, you know, in the political world, there are yes, instances where people want to, kind of push things under the rug or whatever. And you know, I was given some advice a long time ago that said, you know what, you take it on, you make a mistake, you figure it out, and you make sure it doesn’t happen again. And that’s what we did, you know, we publicly turned around and apologized for what happened. We put in place things to make sure that no one else could do this again, and we moved on. And I think at the end of the day, that’s what the public, you know, wanted to hear. They understand, not everything’s perfect, but if you turn around and you’re honest with them and you are, you know this was a tough situation, but you’re up front and you put in place things that are going to make sure that this doesn’t happen again. They appreciate that.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah, and that story reminds me of reading how Roosevelt’s fireside Chats came out, and he believed, and you probably already know this, regardless of what you think of him, the thinking behind this is brilliant. He said that the American people can take anything on the chin, if you’re honest with them, and you’re telling them how you’re going to fix it, which is exactly what you did. You know, I mean, everybody makes mistakes, and I think mistakes can be forgiven, but cover ups can’t. So you all being out there and saying, like, yep, we know this. No, it wasn’t good. But here’s what we did to fix it, and here are the systems, processes, procedures that we put in to prevent this from happening again. So that’s, I mean, that’s brilliant. So in your perspective, what are the key indicators of successful leadership?
Tom Cook
Well, I think it’s making sure, you know, I’ve always been kind of involved in, in having an end customer, and making sure that we provided a service that was beneficial to them. And so it’s about really making sure that the customer is happy, that they’re satisfied, and that they were able to obtain the service that they were looking for in a quality manner.
Kelly Meerbott
And how do you measure the intangibles, though, Tom, because you and I both know, like we work with emotional intelligence, which is a key piece of leadership. How do you measure that when it’s your customers, right?
Tom Cook
We do encourage feedback, you know, I think that you know, through some of the things that we provide services where TripAdvisor people comment, you know, I think it’s very important to receive that feedback, analyze it and if you know if there’s advice to make changes, you take that into consideration when, when you can.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah, again, they’ll take anything on the chin. If you’re transparent and you do, you know you make the change and offer to fix it. So yeah, in terms of influence and inspiration, who are the leaders that have inspired you the most, and what lessons did you take from those leaders?
Tom Cook
I guess I would point to my mother. She was a former state senator, actually she’s still currently the longest serving woman legislator in the state’s history, the State of Delaware. So she has just been a person that tells us like it is, you know, and she’s up front and honest, and you know, she’s just been a role model for me on day one.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah, I keep asking Tom to meet her, because, you know, as a female leader myself, you know you used, I know I stand on the shoulders of giants, and that includes your mom. So hopefully I get to meet her one day. But I’m a little intimidated by her, because she really, apparently, is a straight shooter. And I’m like, I don’t know. I feel like I’m gonna have to be like, nice to meet you, and just very toned down for her. But in terms of decision making, can you walk us through your decision making process during critical moments?
Tom Cook
Sure. Yeah, I like to, as I said, previously, understand the issue, try to gather the information, whether it’s from the higher level people, but also people that deal with the issue, day in and day out. And so I do ask for various viewpoints, and I want to hear all of my — I don’t want to hear what people think I want to hear. I want them to tell me what’s on their mind, and be open. But at the end of the day, though, I am the leader. It’s my job to make the decision, and, you know, I take all that into account, but I turn around and I make the decision, and I expect the employees to follow suit.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah, and I will tell you, I’ve been in the room with Tom several times when there has been not so great feedback, and to watch you energetically and emotionally as a leader, it’s really inspiring. Because sometimes when it’s hard to take, you know, people melt down or lash out. Not Tom he is, like, steady, steady, steady. And it’s, it’s really cool to watch. I mean, for me as a human and somebody who was in corporate, I prefer to follow a leader like you who’s calm in the middle of chaos, rather than somebody who escalates it into a bigger thing when it doesn’t need to be right. So in terms of team dynamics, how do you cultivate a strong team dynamic and foster collaboration within your team?
Tom Cook
Once again, I think they, I like to make them part of the decision and to value their input. People want to be heard. You may not always agree with them, but they at least want to be able to know that they got their point across and that you listen to them. And so by taking that into consideration, I think that really creates a team environment, which the DRBA teamwork is one or more of our values, and so it’s, it’s very important to me that we work towards that goal.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah, and like we said before, in the beginning, you know, that’s, that’s part of your philosophy is, you know, engaging everybody to get more done and go further together. So I love that. And what approach do you take to resolve conflicts within the DRBA?
Tom Cook
Well, you know, I would, you know — there I work with a lot of people that are Type-A personalities, and I mean, that’s how they got that far in life. And so I do, I do listen to them. I do want to make sure that their viewpoint is heard. But um, you know, and I tried to turn around and when one has a certain idea or thought and another one has a disagreement with that, they understand both sides, and really, where’s this person coming from? Why did they go to that conclusion? And so that they can share the information, and sometimes, quite honestly, the other one, one person maybe realizes, hey, I didn’t think about it that way. That’s actually a way — yeah, that’s maybe the more sensible way to resolve this. So I think by making sure that if there is a disagreement, both sides understand where the other one’s coming from.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah. I mean, a lot of times when you’re in that binary of, I’m right, you’re wrong, or, you know, the opposite, it’s hard to see the other person’s point of view when you’re locked into, I’m right, you’re wrong. And that philosophy is awesome. So how do you lead through periods of significant change? And if you want to reference 2020, I know that was a challenge, but whatever you know moves you.
Tom Cook
Yeah, I mean, we have a lot of changes going on here at the DRBA. Be honest with you, yesterday, I was in a meeting — we’re in the middle of designing the next fleet of ferries at the DRBA. And, you know, obviously these ferries last 50 or 60 years. So you have to be able to look at what you have today and try to envision what that’s going to look like, you know, half a century from now. And it has to be able to work at that point as well and provide the service. So, you know, obviously something that’s in place today is not going to look completely different 50 years from now. So you have to be able to step outside what you’re working with right now, and take that, think about all the different options that are out there. And we got to a discussion yesterday where, you know what, what’s technology that is just starting out right now. You know, what would it look like years from now, and, you know, it’s very tough people, I don’t like change, but people do not like change, and so in able to get them to embrace that is, sometimes not easy, but it was, it was a great conversation yesterday, and I think as we moved on to a next step in this design process for the ferry, you know, the captains that were involved really kind of saw the light and said, yeah, you know, we need to think about this, not only what’s happening today, but what it looks like in the future.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah. So can we look forward to from the DRBA — hovercraft ferries for the next 50 years? Or what are we looking at here, Tom?
Tom Cook
I, you know, obviously we’re looking at, you know, alternative energy. Um, you know, we’ve learned that with the layout of the ferry, we’re in some of the preliminary designs. We hope to have this delivered sometime in the end of 2027, so, but it’s got to be really a different experience. You know, the team has really done a great job in looking at all the options that are out there, so.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah, yeah, that’s, that’s awesome. How exciting is that? But like to shoot forward in your brain, in the future, you know, to what is it going to be? 2074? What the heck? I can’t even, my brain doesn’t even compute that. So to, you know, to really, like, be forward facing like that. I mean, that is more forward facing than I’ve ever heard before. So that’s amazing. I can’t wait to see what y’all come up with. It’s going to be really fun to watch. So, diversity and inclusion. Why is diversity inclusion important in leadership, and how do you implement it at the DRBA, yeah,
Tom Cook
We have recently taken on a new position, hired a gentleman who’s doing a great job to take over this leadership role. And you know, it is a way to understand what different viewpoints are. And I think when you have that diversity of viewpoints and thought process, that just makes for a better decision. It really was, in the end, it’s no, you know, we’re at the early stages of this, but I really have some, some great hopes that, I mean, this is going to really take the DRBA to the next level.
Kelly Meerbott
Oh, I agree. I mean, I met your new Chief Diversity Officer, and you’re exactly right. I think the statistic I just read was that diverse teams not only make better decisions, but if they’re inclusive, it’s like 30% pure profit to the bottom line, which is, I mean, that’s unbelievable, and why every leader doesn’t do that boggles my mind. So because it’s like, okay, you want to push money away, that’s fine. Yeah, that’s fine. Um, so what changes or trends do you foresee in leadership practices in the coming years?
Tom Cook
Well, here at the Del burn Bay authority, actually, we have a senior team that literally, every one of the members could retire tomorrow and on, and if we all hit the Powerball, we probably will. But having said that, I don’t think that’s going to happen, but it is something that I think we have to prepare for, you know, the future and losing, you know, when you have some people that have this experience, you know, 25 years, one person has 45 years. You know that institutional knowledge going out the door is something that you need to prepare for. So we are working in a kind of a change management situation here that over the next five years, I could see, you know, if not all, most of the leadership at the DRBA changing and so we are, are working to make sure that that is a smooth transition.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah, yeah. I mean, and you and I have talked about it, but I mean, and I know that we’re in agreement on some things and not on others, which isn’t normal, right? But, you know, emotional intelligence, compassion. You know, these are things that the next generation, alpha, Z, millennials — are demanding of their leaders. Have you started to see that in your leadership seat?
Tom Cook
Yeah. I mean, I can tell you, and let me just add this that you know, we’ve started as you’ve been a critical part of the coaching process, and I think that is something that’s going to help with this leadership transition to the next level and allow this organization to grow in the future. Um, so I think that’s very important for this next step.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah, yeah. Thank you for that. I appreciate that. So okay, so we kind of touched on this, but I’ll, I’ll ask you, because I’m sure there’s other things that I’m not aware of, but what do you do to continually develop improve your leadership skills
Tom Cook
Well. And actually, I just touched on the coaching. I mean, I think that is something that has really taken to the next level for me. I mean, I can’t tell you how beneficial it has been and to hear some of my senior leaders are taking it, and the next group is going to take it, do coaching in the next several months, and for them — and once again, these are people at the you know, at the twilight of their career, they have come back and said, I’m so glad that doing this and and it makes that much of a difference. So I think, you know, in order to be able to continue to be a, you know, a leader of a high profile organization, you have to be able to reach outside your bounds. And you know, I think, the coaching allows you to do that.
Kelly Meerbott
Thank you for that. Love that. And, you know, I’ll add it’s, it’s uncomfortable because it’s gross, right? And, and, you know, that’s how we learn. I always equate it, because you like to mow lawns, just like I do, and like to be outside. But if you think about a seed, right, it starts like a hard shell, but it has to crack open in order to turn into whatever plant it’s going to be. And I’m sure cracking open for a seed is total destruction, but the end result is this beautiful plant. So, yeah, I mean, I love being a witness to that, you know. And to your point, I hear a lot of leaders that are like, I’m at the end of my career. I don’t need this. What would you say to them?
Tom Cook
You know, then, obviously you don’t want to get back, because if you think you’ve reached a pinnacle, no one ever does. Because there’s always more you can learn. There’s always more ways in which you can get better.
Kelly Meerbott
Yep. I agree. So, looking back throughout your career, what’s one leadership mistake you’ve made, and what did you learn from it?
Tom Cook
You know, I guess not listening to people. I mean, and that at one point I thought maybe I knew it all and that was a mistake, and I quickly learned that is not the case. No one knows it all, and you do have to turn around and embrace people and make them part of the decision. And you know, I think, as I said before, by involving them, it gets that buy-in and they literally — when they feel they’re part of the decision, part of the team, they will run through walls for you.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah, they really will. And if you’re running through fire, they’re right behind you, which is amazing. There’s a quote, and it always reminds me of you. Lao Tzu said, you know, “to lead the people, walk behind them,” and you’re almost like a rudder on a boat, sort of gently guiding, and when they’re off course, you know, course correcting. But I don’t see you as this heavy handed leader. That’s like, it’s my way or the highway. Now, if there is a conflict, obviously you’re the tie breaker, but you know, as a leader myself, since 1998, 26 years, um, what I’ve learned is, the more I learn, the less I know. Does that make sense to you? Okay, yeah. I mean, it’s like, Oh, I thought I nope, there’s more to learn. So we’re in this earth school together, right? Okay, so what advice would you give to somebody who is just starting out in leadership roles?
Tom Cook
You know? I guess, listen. Just listen. You know, to be able to take things and understand them, hear different points of view. And you know what you’re at the end of the day, your gut decision will decide. I mean, whatever you feel in your gut, that is that that is what you need to go.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah. And I tell my clients, you know — and I’m a spiritual person, not a religious person. So whatever belief system you subscribe to I feel like your intuition is God’s way of talking to you. It’s like, hey, hey, hey, you know, this is — listen. I know, for me, the only time I get “quote unquote” in trouble is when I override my intuition. So nine times out of 10, I’m right, but that one time I’m like, no, no, and then my intuition is like, we knew better, and you just didn’t listen. So okay, are you ready for some rapid fire questions?
Tom Cook
Sure.
Kelly Meerbott
All right, so what is your favorite comfort food?
Tom Cook
Pizza!
Kelly Meerbott
Pizza? Okay. Is there a certain style? Do we like New York? Do we like deep dish?
Tom Cook
I like all the toppings, no anchovies, no anchovies. But, I mean, I’ll eat it all.
Kelly Meerbott
So it’s an all inclusive pizza, like philosophy. Can’t argue with that. That’s awesome. Do you have a favorite place in Delaware that you go to?
Tom Cook
Yes, it’s all Nicole’s Pizza. Nicole’s Pizza.
Kelly Meerbott
Where is that located?
Tom Cook
That’s in the Lewis and Rehoboth area.
Kelly Meerbott
Okay. Oh, it’s in Rehoboth. Yeah. Okay, so I’ll have to ask you where it is before we go, because we’re always looking — you know, so my girlfriends and I, the week after Labor Day, we rent a house in Rehoboth, and we’re always looking for good pizza. We ate somewhere on the boardwalk last year, and it was, I don’t want to mention it, it was fine, but it didn’t blow your hair back, you know? It was. It was one of those chain restaurants, which I’m not a fan of, you know. Okay, um, what books are on your nightstand?
Tom Cook
So, Profiles In Courage.
Kelly Meerbott
Oh my gosh, that’s amazing. Yeah, well, JFK, yeah. I mean, that’s again, another talented human gone way too soon. Yeah. Okay, so what songs are on your playlist?
Tom Cook
Nelly, It’s Getting Hot In Here.
Kelly Meerbott
You’re kidding! That is not what I expected from you. Tom, what else, you have to tell me? What else? “Nelly, It’s Getting Hot In Here” like, literally shocked! So oh my god, we had, we should just play that at the beginning of the meeting. Yeah, get everybody psyched up. But are there any other, any other artists besides Nelly, you like?
Tom Cook
I’m a big Bon Jovi fan, so.
Kelly Meerbott
Okay, yeah, that’s fair. That’s fair. Have you seen them live?
Tom Cook
Yes, yes.
Kelly Meerbott
Where’d you see them? Just out of curiosity.
Tom Cook
Atlantic City. I got tickets, and my wife — the ticket that we got, my wife was able to reach out and touch his hand. So, yeah.
Kelly Meerbott
You’re kidding!
Tom Cook
So, yeah, that made me golden for at least a day.
Kelly Meerbott
What a great moment. I mean, it says, Yeah, all right, any other artists we need to give a shout out to?
Tom Cook
I’m, yeah, Goo Goo Dolls.
Kelly Meerbott
I mean, just shocked. I went and saw Sarah McLachlan last night — that’s when we were texting, yeah, and I was seven rows back, and Tom, she sang this song — and I don’t know the name of it, but it sounded like, you know, when Mariah Carey hits those high notes, you know, literally like that, but higher. And you could tell, because we had VIP tickets, so I got to see her sound check, and she’s like, you know, usually on vocal rest, and you could tell she was nervous, but, I mean, I was sitting there like, Wow. It was unbelievable. I’ll show you the videos when we see each other. So, okay, what are you the most grateful for, at this moment right now?
Tom Cook
So being part of this organization, being part of, uh, you know, just living life. Well, it’s fortunate enough every day to get up and have a great job to go to, work with great people, have a great family, you know — that doesn’t get any better.
Kelly Meerbott
Yeah, and having a great friend group too, because you surf fish, correct?
Tom Cook
I do! I do.
Kelly Meerbott
Okay, so for those people in the audience that don’t know what that is, would you mind explaining it?
Tom Cook
Sure, so it’s the ability in Delaware — and other states as well — but you can actually take your four wheel drive vehicle onto the beach with a valid permit. And you pull right up next to the water and cast your rod out into the surf. And I’ll put, put the pole in, in its holder, and sit back and —
Kelly Meerbott
Rock out to Nelly.
Tom Cook
Rock out to Nell. And yeah, you can, you can cook and make margaritas and enjoy life. Yeah,
Kelly Meerbott
So I’ve heard you make a killer margarita, and I’m still waiting for an invite, but you know we’ll just leave it there. Thank you so much, Tom! I, you know, I love being around you, love talking to you. Love witnessing your leadership journey, and listen: you know that time is the one currency we can’t get back. So thank you for spending that time with us, and thank you to our audience for listening.
It’s our intention here on Hidden Human to inspire you to go out and have authentic conversations to deepen the connections in your life. Thank you so much, and make it a great day!
