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[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][divider line_type=”Full Width Line” line_thickness=”1″ divider_color=”default” animate=”yes” delay=”50″][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]Author, speaker and entrepreneur John Dijulius joins the program to discuss his own experience of moving through grief and loss and the experiences that helped shape the leader that he is today. Discover tips for staying more connected in this time of social distancing, some of the positive elements that can come from slowing down, and the skills that will be most critical for the future of work. [/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row type=”full_width_background” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” scene_position=”center” top_padding=”0″ bottom_padding=”7%” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” row_border_radius=”none” row_border_radius_applies=”bg” class=”custom-p” overlay_strength=”0.3″ gradient_direction=”left_to_right” shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”left-right” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][toggles style=”default”][toggle color=”Default” title=”Episode Transcription”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” column_direction=”default” column_direction_tablet=”default” column_direction_phone=”default” text_align=”left”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”padding-3-percent” column_padding_tablet=”inherit” column_padding_phone=”inherit” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” gradient_direction=”left_to_right” overlay_strength=”0.3″ width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]13:30:54
Welcome to hidden human, the Podcast where we explore the stories behind the business leader. Get ready to hear insights from business leaders speaking candidly about how they became who they are today, and the lessons they learned along the way. And now, here’s your host, leadership coaching speaker, Kelly Meerbott.
Kelly Meerbott 13:31:17
Welcome to the space where we reveal our personal humanity to reconnect with our shared humanity. Let’s begin our conversation with John Dijulius chief revolution officer of the Dijulius group and cows dad. John, I have been so excited to talk to you since I saw a cow. But let’s let’s get started. If I was a six year old child, and you were trying to explain to me in a way I can understand what it is a chief revolution officer does, how would you explain that to me?
John Dijulius 13:31:48
Wow. That’s tough because six year olds can see through me, you know, bullshit better than anyone. Right?
Kelly Meerbott 13:31:55
Right. Yeah.
John Dijulius 13:31:59
A revolution a customer service revolution. That’s our mission at the Dijulius group. And it’s just, you know, a radical overthrow a conventional, well, I guess, I’m talking to a six year old, but it’s just a change how people are treated, and what they experience from employees, to customers to the stranger in an elevator, we just wanted to have a ripple effect that just permeates into people’s personal lives at home and in the community.
Kelly Meerbott 13:32:27
Gotcha. And, and how young were you, when you you knew that the status quo wasn’t working anymore? I mean, and I’m, I’m looking between the ages of eight and 14, when did you start noticing these things?
John Dijulius 13:32:39
Um, I don’t know if I noticed, but I think my teachers and mom notice, just because, you know, I was, I was always in trouble for questioning the way everything was, and they didn’t know how to deal with me when I was a young kid. And, you know, I did think differently. And for the longest time, I, I, they thought, and I believe that, you know, I had a learning disability, I was labeled with ADHD and LD, and just because my mind just didn’t naturally, you know, do the consensus thinking the way everyone else did.
Kelly Meerbott 13:33:15
So can you give me an example of how you would question your teachers, like, I’d love to kind of get a visual on that take me in your mind’s eye to your, your middle school teachers, and what came up that you were questioning them on?
John Dijulius 13:33:27
Well, you know, first off, you know, I was add, and so it was hyperactive, and, you know, we didn’t have pills or diagnosis for it back then. I was, you know, I now today we can, we can, you know, saw I was bright, but back then, because I got it quickly. You know, and they probably were teaching in the middle of the road kid, I then would start pulling the pigtails of the girls next to me and spit balls in people. So if I, if I, you know, wasn’t sent to the principal’s office, I just wanted to know why. And I would just constantly asking why, you know, you know, who says, and, you know, why does that? Why does it have to be that way. And it was very frustrating and disruptive, you know, rightfully so for the teacher, because it would take them off their, their course planning, and a lot of times, they wouldn’t know the answer to my questions. And, you know, so they, you know, it was just it was it was throwing them, you know, teachers back then just, you know, how to structure and teach the curriculum they had to be taught. And, you know, mine would always take it down rabbit holes, which, you know, I like rabbit holes, because one of the things that that I found in my research for my last book was that, you know, Google is a conversation killer. And I was like, what does that mean? And so like, if we’re talking about anything, right, who won the Oscars, you know, in, you know, the, the, you know, in 1992? Or who was the world series champ in 1975? Well, I’ll Google it, and immediately have an answer. And you know, that conversation is done and we go on to something else versus the exploratory that we would say, well what was that the year that you know, Tom Cruise one it for? You know, a Born on the Fourth of July and then we talk about, you know, what a good or was at the end so many avenues that that those conversations could have taken us versus just having the answer and then you know, kind of you know, that conversations killed and the creativity is killed.
Kelly Meerbott 13:35:34
Yeah, yeah. And you know what, this is such a I was so I was saying to you before we got on Aaron and to Doug, our producer, that how excited I was to talk to you because of your new book and considering what’s going on. In the world today, how you know, with all the social distancing? And how do you maintain a relationship, where there’s so much distance between all of us, and I don’t know about you, if you’ve noticed this in your own life, but the more people say social distance, the more I want to pull people closer to me, I don’t know if you’ve experienced that in your life at all.
John Dijulius 13:36:09
Yeah, and there’s a difference between social distancing and social isolation. Right? Right. There’s a difference between number of of, you know, connections I have, and truly connecting with people. So, you know, one of my advices, you know, for people right now, during these times, because I think this is a golden opportunity. I just think this is the coolest thing, you know, ever not, not the financial ramifications, but anxiety and fear, you know, is the worst thing for our immune system. And, you know, and so, you know, I don’t think any of us should be calling anyone, I think we should be FaceTiming. Right? I mean, you know, it’s a golden opportunity to FaceTime our parents or grandparents, you know, our friends, you know, I’ve created a list of, you know, with this downtime of people that have impacted my life, and making sure that they know that they did, and it might be my first boss, a counselor, a teacher, a relative that just has no idea. And I want to make sure they know that I would not be where I am today, if it wasn’t for, you know, the kick in the ass, or that they believed in me. And, and while I didn’t believe in myself, I just didn’t have the heart to let them down.
Kelly Meerbott 13:37:23
Yeah, I mean, I really I love what you said, because I’m seeing this as as a golden opportunity as well. Until my ego mind jumps in and goes when or when is it going to be over? And then I have to shush her and just get back to the present. But, you know, I’m getting back to basics, which is, like you said, not just calling FaceTiming. But also writing handwritten notes. Because, you know, I mean, people are getting inundated with emails if I got one more email from like a Starbucks and
John Dijulius 13:37:51
Hove COVID, 90 subject line, right? I read something yesterday, say, if you want to increase the number of subscribe, unsubscribe, you know, have that in your head. We all know what it is, right? We don’t need to, you know, keep on labeling it, you know, you know, difficult times, whatever. But you’re right, you’re right. I mean, like, you know, and that’s why they, you know, I don’t think we have to check headline news. It reminds me of 911, you know, yes. But yeah, that in front of it, and it was unhealthy addiction. And, you know, listen, right now, I’m not saying stick your head in the sand. I’m not saying be irresponsible, get on planes and go in large groups. We all know what we need to do. And not do. But checking headline news and social media every 15 minutes is not what we need to do. Because the affected number desktop can only go up, right? It’s never gonna go down. So So you know, and seeing another industry business that’s forced to close. You know, that’s, that’s not healthy us. But let’s focus on the positive let’s, let’s go through old pictures. Let’s show our kids prove to our kids with home videos that I actually did walk to school uphill both ways. In a snowstorm in July, right, so what life was like and let them laugh at our feathered back hair and all the other things. But the story we’re working on a family trivia game right now. I mean, tell me about that. Yeah, just everyone has to think of five questions. That’s a family trivia game of you know, who remembers our first address of our first house or our first phone number? You know, when we used to have landlines, it’s, you know, so and so’s teacher, our neighbors, you know, our neighbors, you know, their name or their kids names, you know, back in the day and, and just creating all that. So when we get Listen to me, this is the holidays, minus the chaos minus the crowds, minus the the third cousins that we didn’t want over our house anyway. And the mess that we have to clean up. I mean, well,
Kelly Meerbott 13:40:00
and and let’s talk about the economic value of it. You know, not the overspending. Like, oh, I’m giving you 20 presents to show you I love you. Yeah, and I mean, which is I don’t know about you and where you’re in Ohio, correct, John? East side of Cleveland. Okay. So I don’t know if this just happened in your neighborhood. I live in Narberth, Pennsylvania which is 10 minutes outside of Philly, and people are walking around Now of course there are maintain a safe distance and all that but people are outside playing walking their dogs rolling their kids in a stroller like it’s almost like they’re reconnecting with nature and reconnecting with each other. And that’s what I feel like we need I mean, Kelly, everything
John Dijulius 13:40:40
happens for a reason. Yeah. And you know, the our world and it goes back to my book The relationship economy. A our world was it this was intentional, whatever you want to say, from God’s or whoever, we needed this, we were socially, you know, you know, in our devices and disengaged, we need to look at each other in the eye and have conversations and tell stories and, and talk about, you know, things that we just don’t talk about anymore and, and build real rapport again. You know, it’s something that you brought up before we got on that made me think of this. I don’t know if you ever saw the the TED Talk, screw small talk, go for big talk. No, it’s awesome. It’s it by a young girl that she she did this a few years ago while she was in, in college. And he kind of, you know, you reminded me of when you told me the inspiration for this podcast of the quality and depths of conversations. And so she was lonely. She was suffering, you know, from, you know, depression or whatever. And it she was just sick of all the certs surface Fishel conversations everyone had, so she invented your, you know, thought of, you know, the big talk and, you know, it’s, it’s an awesome TED Talk, screw small talk, go for big talk that I you know, now, you know, we have like on my phone, I have probably 50 Big talk questions. I’ve either heard of or, or thought of that when I’m out to dinner with another couple or with my kids. We play it. And you know, it’s just exploratory. But it really gets deep like, hey, Kelly, if this was the last day of your life, what what was the one thing you’d regret? Or, you know, what’s the first thing that comes to your mind? Every morning, when you get up and get into stuff that’s really telling, like I had, you know, a friend of mine say, Oh, I don’t want to go to work today. And that bummed me out so much, that that’s the first thing that pops in her mind, I want to help her get a job, right. And you know, I wake up. And so from that, like, I actually put a thing a pop up at 6am. That pops up hoping that that’s the first thing and I tried to read it says thank you for the day, and make today. You know, the day that you’ll be remembered for how you treat others, right? Because that’s the first thing I want to think of is make today, the day you will be remembered for how you treat others or ABS. Act as if today’s the day you’ll is the day you’ll be remembered for how you treat others.
Kelly Meerbott 13:43:28
You know, and it’s interesting, John, because there are a couple of things that are popping in my head one, you know, I have a list of those big top questions as well, because I’m you and I are both entrepreneurs. So we go to networking events all the time. And one of the things that was the inspiration for this podcast is if somebody asked me one more time what it was I did for a living, I would like shoot myself in the foot because it’s do you really is that really what you want to know. You know, and I’m really interested in I think maybe it happened when I was 40 that I was tired of of the surface conversations. And I really wanted to know the human beyond the title like, Okay, you’re title CEO, but what does that really mean? Like, and that’s only one sliver of who you are. And I remember switching the questions asking that I was doing it. Networking events, and I asked this one woman I said, what do you what do you what’s your favorite hobby? And I stood there and I listened to her for about 45 minutes. Tell me about how she’s a quilter. And her daughter is having their her first grandchild and she saved all of her daughter’s T shirts throughout school and like, now she’s stitching a baby blanket out of these T shirts for an at the end. And she’s like I said, Well, how does that translate into what you do today? She said, Well, I’m a CFO, and you have to be precise and stitching. So it informs that and now I’ve had this conversation where there’s an emotional connection. And she’s gonna remember talking to me, and hopefully, if she needs leadership development for her team, she’ll call me but it was a deeper conversation, you know, and as I was listening to you one of the questions, my favorite questions to ask people on the podcast is, what was the first song that you heard that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end?
John Dijulius 13:45:17
God was a kid, I assume. I don’t know. I just remember, you know, seasons in the song songs I you know, and it was about someone that was you know, dying or, you know, I remember and I remember I wore that album back then or 45 thing out. I used to play that all the time. And it was just about, you know, the now knowing it, you know, it was about the preciousness of life right We’re all we’re all tourists. And, you know, if we can, you know, our passports can be pulled at any time. And yeah,
Kelly Meerbott 13:45:55
and you’ve recently experienced that firsthand, right? With with the loss of your wife.
John Dijulius 13:46:00
I did. I did. And, and, you know, but I really look at it is, you know, a while tragic and we’d love to, you know, have have that not happen, how lucky we were, I mean, you know, three boys and and, you know, they, you know, had her in their lives and you know, of all the people that, you know, could have had, you know, their mother, it was her and in all the people that could have been married to her and known her for 20 years, it was me. And, you know, we’re just so blessed, you know, with that. So, yeah, you know it, but I think we’ve always, you know, we’ve always been like that it wasn’t that moment that made us reconsider. So while you have regret living your life, like that made us have less regret, because we didn’t sit around taking life for granted thinking that, you know, we had, you know, the next 40 years to make it up to one another, or, you know, whatever the things we could get caught up in the day to day.
Kelly Meerbott 13:47:02
So cow hasn’t shared much with me about his mom and your, your wife, would you mind just giving our listeners context of, of what happened and how she passed and what her name was? Because, Stacy, okay.
John Dijulius 13:47:15
And she was my business partner, you know, she was, you know, my wife, and we opened our first business together. almost 30 years ago, John Roberts spa that, through her vision in Cleveland has grown into one of the most successful salons and spas and in the US, and, and so, she, she, she died almost 10 years ago, now, in a car accident, you know, obviously unexpected. And, you know, I, you know, just because we put we were blessed with so many people that, you know, you know, we’re there for us, and so many people, you know, 150 employees that were there for my kids, and Chow likes to say, you know, for 90 days, it took them 90 days to realize I couldn’t cook, because people on their own just created this calendar and dropped off homemade dinners, literally for 90 days. He thought it was meat cooking. Just amazing, you know, tough times doesn’t build character or reveals it and you really see what people are made of. And it just made us feel so fortunate and blessed. You know, both having her in our lives, and the impact that she made it made us want to you know, you know, make sure that we could, you know, touch people in the way that she did.
Kelly Meerbott 13:48:41
Yeah, and Okay. And, you know, I I’m a big believer and this phrase that I heard when my grandmother passed away, and I repeated often, and I’m often interested to hear people who’ve experienced a loss like you and your three boys have, how it lands with them. And the quote is the death is just a change of address.
John Dijulius 13:49:04
Oh, that’s so cool. I love that.
Kelly Meerbott 13:49:07
Yeah. And I mean, I get the sense that Stacy’s here I mean, I don’t, I don’t know, for sure none of us will ever know if that’s true. Right. But do you think she’s proud of what you’ve created?
John Dijulius 13:49:21
I hope so. I hope so. And then that is my compass, you know, with decisions I make, you know, professionally and personally, is what she’d be proud. And, you know, if you knew Stacy, you know that she was alive and Calum. And they are like carbon copies. You know, he has her energy. And you just, you know, he liked it. And you said something earlier about, you know, that, you know, people are CEOs at one of my favorite quotes that I heard is we’re all CEOs and that stands for Chief, energizing officer. And that was my that was my word that’s been my word for several years is, you know, what energy do I bring to a conversation to a room and you know, first off, I realized, that’s low hanging fruit for me, I bring energy. The trouble with that is what type of energy I bring, I always bring energy, but I can I can be you know, as destructive as I can be positive. And so I had to consciously make sure that I’m bringing the positive energies and it could be me walking into my one of my businesses, and you know, just walking past everyone to get to a meeting or a call or whatever, and not realizing that energy just you know, crushed people because they saw me they haven’t seen me they’re looking forward to engaging or whatever in me, you know, being present The pipe self absorbed, narcissistic for that moment was negative, or it could be me, you know, you know, snapping at my, you know, high school kid because he’s, you know, he left homework at home and we have to turn around and go back. And that’s going to throw my day off. And, you know, snapping at him, and what did I just do to him? So making sure that you know, it, I realize, and each of us realize that the energy that we bring is a burden, and it’s a responsibility to use it in the right way.
Kelly Meerbott 13:51:19
Yeah. So that I love that you said that, because that’s one of the thing, the most feedback I get a lot from my clients and from people I interface with, like you is, you have great energy, I love your energy. And to your point, you know, when you have that kind of energetic output, and I see you as a light worker, and a light bearer in the world, you know, with the work that you’re doing to create relationships, again, learning, teaching people how to create relationships, but one of the things that I need to do is really make sure that I take care of my vessel and my instrument, and what I mean by that is my, my body, like my mind, body spirit. So do you have certain practices in place to make sure that you maintain the kind of energy that is contributing to the greater good of the world versus detracting from it?
John Dijulius 13:52:08
Yeah, so I have a personal vision statement, that really is my guide for everything. And it’s, it’s to live an extraordinary life. So countless others will as well. And so I don’t want to live an extraordinary life. So I have more cars, more houses, more vacations, more whatever. You know, I and I also don’t feel that living an extraordinary life is optional, or, you know, I have to because of the ripple effect. And so not just having that statement, that statements on my mirror, it’s on my walls, it’s everywhere. But that, by itself is just a platitude. So then I then have, you know, a kind of a strategy three, three personal and three professional pillars, that is my guideposts that I audit. So like personally, you know, how do I live a extraordinary life and exactly what you said, you know, got to take care of myself first, right. And, and, and, you know, you can argue, you know, I can you know, yell at you, if you are my friends, significant other relative boss, whenever I could say, Kelly, you’re, you know, why are you eating donuts for lunch? Or why are you skipping workouts? Or why are you drinking so much. And, you know, you could come back and say, you know, John, it’s really none of your business. But I would argue that it is because, you know, if you’re not living your best version, that’s going to have a ripple effect on me whatever relationship I have, and, you know, if I like crap, skip the workouts, I’m going to be cranky, or I’m going to come home, I’m just going to want to, you know, collapse on a couch, and when my kids want me to play, catch, or help them with their homework, and I’m irritable, and that, you know, that that causes so, you know, my my three personal buckets are one is personnel, and underneath that is relationships, and that’s all types of relationships, spiritual and give more, my middle pillar is family. And that, you know, I’m there to build self esteem and be a role model and, and be fun. And that may not sound like much, but I forget about the font, I have to I have to build that in because I get over structured and over this and I got shit to do and places to be and no time for fun. And, and then the health is my third pillar. And it’s, it’s, you know, what I’m eating what I’m physically doing. And in the mind, what am I putting in my brain? Yes, in a positive podcast, listening to motivational, and then I’m picky about who I allow in my inner circle, right, we all have friends. And I, you know, and there’s friends that I, you know, want to see and talk to, as often as I can, and there’s friends that I love dearly, and then maybe they were in my wedding and, and I want to be for them, but I’ll only be there for them when we’re in large groups, and maybe once or twice a year. Because, you know, and how I kind of look at, you know, where what category you fit in is if we’re having a beer, and it was, you know, seven o’clock, and you know, my, you know, and I told you earlier my significant other said, you know, I told my significant other, I’d be home by 730. You know, what kind of friend are you? Are you the kind of friend that says, hey, let’s order one more, or are you the kind of friend that says, hey, maybe we should get the check? Because you promised her you’d be home by 730 Right? Or, you know, if you take it to a college level, are you the kind of friend that says let’s go into the party or you know, you know, go for all night, you know, beers and wings, or do you need help studying for that test?
Kelly Meerbott 13:55:39
You know, I John, this resonates with me on such a deep level because the past two years I went through and sifted out the P Well, well actually, I didn’t do it. But you know, nature or the universe, whatever you want to call, it was basically like, yeah, those people shouldn’t have access to you. And I thought because of the nature of the work I do, which is transforming humans and organizations to a higher level of consciousness, I thought that everybody who came to me should have access to me. And what ended up happening is I got burnt out, exhausted, and I couldn’t serve the people that I was meant to serve. So I love that you, you’ve really kind of curated the people that are around you. And it’s okay, that not everybody gets access to you. And then the other thing that really resonates with me is when I work with an executive or CEO, one of the things that I say to them is, you have to watch your consumption and your consumption is not just through your mouth, it’s through your ears, your in your eyes, like what do you or what do you constantly programming your mind with? So all of this to say, How did how did these pillars and this personal mantra inform the work you do now? How does it inform your you as a father? And how did it inform the creation of the latest book that you’ve created?
John Dijulius 13:56:57
You know, it’s just about accountability. And we can all say, what’s our priorities, and what’s important to us. But, you know, action speak. And so one of my favorite lines is, you know, you can tell me all day, what your personal values and priorities are. But let me look at your calendar. And your last 90 days will tell me what you really value. Right? And, you know, you know, you have kids, and they’re important, your date night, your significant, but you don’t have an ad on your calendar, didn’t you tell me your daughter has ballet or basketball or gym network? I don’t see any of her her events on your calendar, or, you know, extra set, you know, so it, you know, I just I don’t like, you know, people that talk about things like action, and yeah, put myself in that and make sure I’m just not blowing smoke and saying what sounds really good. But a total hypocrite?
Kelly Meerbott 13:57:53
Yes. 100%, I, you know, I call that being an integrity and an alignment with who you are at your core, you know? And how do you see, I mean, I see it a lot. And thank God because I have job security, because I help people get back into alignment with who they are and what they say and what they do needs to match. How do you see that show up in the work that you’re doing?
John Dijulius 13:58:19
So you know, same thing, you know, we’re the Dijulius group, all we do is customer service, customer experience consulting. So we’re very narrow and deep. But you know, we’ll have a lot of CEOs call us and companies that say, you know, you know, customer service is important as we need to get better. And, again, you can say, you know, because that’s what you should say, but, you know, I can prove it to me, Well, what kind of investment are you making in your employees? You know, when you hire them on the soft side? You know, you know, so I like to ask this question, I say, I have you to hire my son, Cal tomorrow to work with frontline customer facing position, how much training will you give them? And some people say two days, some people say two weeks, some people say, you know, two months? That’s not the answer I’m looking for. The answer I’m looking for is okay, of the 40 hours, 400 hours, 4000 hours of that, what, uh, how much is dedicated to operational technical processes all that in what is, you know, dedicated to training him on building a report showing empathy and compassion, making a brilliant comeback, when the ball is dropped? And in most equations, you know, companies it’s like, 98%, operational and 2%, just kind of, you know, Hey, see the big sign in the back or it says we’re customer first or exceed customers? Yeah, go do that. If you tell 100 people to exceed customers expectations that we processed 100 different ways. And the best companies remove personal interpretation, and they dictate make it black and white. What that looks like.
Kelly Meerbott 13:59:59
Yeah, I mean, it’s, it’s interesting, because I know that you worked with Nordstrom and I had the opportunity to work with them briefly. And what fascinated me was the fact that their employee manuals is a three by five index card that says, use your best judgment. And on the back, it says When in doubt, ask your manager. I mean, there’s and that’s why they’re so great with customers. And to your point, it’s a lot of times I’ll say, Okay, so who who’s your guideposts? Who do you want to measure up against? Well, we want to be like Nordstrom. No, you don’t want to be like Nordstrom. It’s it’s how are you showing up in the world to execute in and show that kind of energy with the same values that Nordstrom exhibits It’s not what you’re doing. It’s who you’re being. And I think to your point that that’s, that’s more of the focus of where things need to go. And I know a lot of people hire me quote unquote, for soft skills, but I call them crucial skills because you’re right, I think this time we’re, we’re resetting and you know, just kind of renewing ourselves now with what’s going on in the world, the Coronavirus, it’s really giving us time and space to cultivate a depth of relationships that we didn’t have before.
John Dijulius 14:01:19
And listen to is the act soft skills, right. I mean, there’s technical as anything, at no fault of their own, there is a, you know, a lot of generations that are relationship disadvantaged, because they were, you know, the growing up in the digital, you know, revolution, they, you know, have less and less people skills. Again, no fault of their own, you know, and the funny thing is, it’s, it’s, it’s my generation that’s criticizing millennials, and we’re the ones that raised them, were the ones that gave them an iPad to keep them occupied. So we could continue to do our work or whatever we were doing. And now we’re criticizing them, you know, they, they, they don’t know what it’s like to be the customer. Because, you know, most frontline customer facing employees are not their customers, like the kid parking, you know, the Lamborghini at the Ritz Carlton valet has never driven a car that’s newer than seven years old, and has never stayed in a hotel that comes close to yet we expect them to give that type of experience. And so there’s just so many reasons, right? The of 40% of employees today work for a boss that’s younger than them, because of our reliant on the digital intelligence. But you know, they don’t have the emotional intelligence that our generations, you know, had decades to cultivate. So these are all things that we have to help our employees and our kids understand the value of building relationships.
Kelly Meerbott 14:02:55
Why do you think you were called to do this work? Because it’s definitely a calling Why were you called to create like to teach people how to deepen their relationships,
John Dijulius 14:03:06
you know, a lot, probably had to do it, because I remember the first business me and my wife open John Roberts spa, you know, back in the early 90s, and we didn’t have we had the typical three knows, we had no customers, no money, and no employees, right. And we certainly couldn’t compete with the other, you know, dozens of salons up and down our street, as far as building a nicer place in them. We didn’t have, you know, pockets, deep pockets, anything to advertise better than them, you know, there was nothing we could differentiate other than really take good care of our people and our customers. And, and our goal was not to be the best salon experience you could have, it was the best experience you can have. Because if you came to us that day, you weren’t then going to our nearest competitor and comparisons, and oh my god, they’re not as good or whatever. You didn’t need a salon for the next several weeks, but you were going to the doctor’s office, you’re going shopping, you were meeting your friend for lunch, and we wanted every experience after you left us to pale in comparison. And then what we found out 510 1525 years later, is while we do have deeper pockets, now, that’s the best investment, you know, you can copy our menu, you can copy our designs, but you can’t copy our people and our culture and our experience. So it’s just always become you know, it’s just something that maybe you know, as a kid, because I wasn’t a good student. You know, I struggled in a lot of areas. But you know, my mother taught me, you know, how to how to believe in people and how to make people feel that they can walk through, you know, do anything, absolutely anything. I always wanted to be able to give that gift to other people.
Kelly Meerbott 14:04:51
And what did What did dad teach you to
John Dijulius 14:04:55
bail on his family? Gotcha, gotcha. My dad left my mom in 1971 with six kids all under the age of you know, 20 I was six. And we never heard from him again. And you know, but it was it was a blessing. Right? If my dad would have been the father he should have been I wouldn’t be the man I am today.
Kelly Meerbott 14:05:18
Yeah, I mean, I’m a big believer in our minds learning in contrast, so he showed you what not to do. And I’ll tell you just from knowing one of your sons cow that we’ve talked about a lot and we’ll give the other two a shout out in a second is that you’ve done a wonderful job. He’s a great human and really, that’s that’s a great legacy to leave behind. And kind of dovetailing off of that. With your career and all the gifts and talents that you’ve leveraged to make the world a better place. Who are you honoring with your work and What kind of legacy Are you trying to leave behind?
John Dijulius 14:05:50
Hubie I’m honoring all the people that believed in me when I wasn’t believable, you know, early on from my mother to my wife, Stacy, today, all the employees that you know, have have dedicated their professional careers to my vision and continue to do so. And you know, the it I really, you know, try to make compasses is to live an extraordinary life so countless others do, right. So, you know, if you think about what if Walt Disney Oprah Winfrey’s you know, Steve Jobs in Nelson Mandela, you know, you know, Howard Schultz the Great’s would have said back in the day, Ah, screw it. Yeah, I just want to be average, how different would our lives be? And you know, and they take it to, you know, different parts of our like, you know, someone’s Steve Jobs, or someone’s Walt Disney to us, we are that to so many people. And, you know, you know, the ripple effect and the impact if they just would have said, you know, screw it, I want to be like everyone else, I don’t need to, you know, work so hard. And I don’t need to change the world, you know, how much you know, worse off, would we be today. And I feel that that’s our obligation to our family members, our employees and the future generations of people.
Kelly Meerbott 14:07:11
Wow, John. Wow. I mean, I could talk to you for hours. But unfortunately, you don’t have that kind of time. And we might lose people’s attention span. If I, if I were to have your three sons. So there’s cow, what are the other two?
John Dijulius 14:07:26
What are the other? My oldest is Johnny. He’s 27. I have three boys. Cow is 22. And then Bo is 17.
Kelly Meerbott 14:07:34
Okay, so if we were to have the three boys in the room with us right now, three young men? What would they say about you? As a man?
John Dijulius 14:07:43
No, I don’t know. I have to ask them. I’m not sure. You know, it all depends on the day, I always say the one of the best things about having three children is, you know, one of them typically isn’t mad at me. Typically, I haven’t, you know, anger at all three, at least usually have one that, you know, isn’t, you know, totally, you know, ticked off at, you know, something I’ve laid down are rules. You know, I don’t know, I really couldn’t answer that, you know, better than me, my son, before he met me.
Kelly Meerbott 14:08:22
Well, he loves you. I mean, I’ll tell you that much. But okay, so for let’s, let’s take it a different way. For not here,
John Dijulius 14:08:29
I will tell you here, here’s a way so here’s an exercise I’ve done. And I recommend that people, you where it’s at the beginning with the end in mind. So I wrote down my eulogy, you know, and so you write down the people that you know, someone you know, somebody in your family, your child, your brother, sister, someone, you work with a close friend, some in the community, you know, there’s like six different, they’re all gonna get up, and they’re going to speak about you. And hopefully this is in 2050 years, but what do you want them to say about you, and you literally write it down, you know, and, and so, you know, what I wrote for my kids, it, you know, just that I want them to say about me, is that, you know, my dad believed in me so much. And he made me feel, you know, he gave me so much self esteem that I can literally conquer anything. And, you know, and so when you write that out, I don’t want anybody to be impressed with that. What then ends up happening is, you know, and that’s another thing that’s sitting on my in a mirror and I tried to in my wallet, but here’s what it does, it makes me realize, I can’t die yet. Because, because I don’t think they’d say that today, potentially, right? Because, like I said, goes back to I snapped at my son because he, you know, didn’t clean up or whatever. And I realized I got work to do. You know, I don’t know if my best friend would say, you know, I hope he would, but I want to make sure that you know, I can call him at 3am and he wouldn’t ask me why or how much she’d be there. You know, those types of things, you know, so that’s, you know, I could tell you what I want them to say, but I have a lot of work to do to get there.
Kelly Meerbott 14:10:10
Well, I love that you’re you take accountability and ownership for yourself because I always say to my clients if we’re the problem, the great thing about that is where the solution you know, and and really, it’s not the external events that that are causing these kinds of reactions. It’s our thoughts, beliefs, wounds that we haven’t healed, etc. So I you know, I love your powerful language. And you know, of course, I only no cow hopefully, I’ll have the opportunity to meet your other two sons at some point but for your great great great grandchildren that may be listening to this hundreds of years from now, what kind of wisdom would you want to end Hard to them.
John Dijulius 14:10:49
Give more my two favorite words, you know, it just find ways to give more in every relationship, you know, professional, personal neighbors, the stranger in the elevator, there’s things that our agreement says our you know, you know, our contract says whatever the, the, the, you know, employer, employee, customer, you know, company, Father, Son, you know, whatever the husband wife, and and you know, you’re you have to do A, B and C and I have to do XY and Z. But because we live in a very cynical society, too often we wait to make sure that the other person does what they promise and then when they do, we do what we and so what I tried to teach myself, my three boys, my my clients and my employees is do X y&z first and throw in W even though W wasn’t part of it, even though they weren’t expected, always find ways to give more than was promised that they expect. And that means, you know, don’t have a good memory. Don’t Don’t keep score, and don’t wait. And what I mean by you know, don’t have a good memory is don’t remember three years ago, and someone didn’t do what they said, don’t let that ruin it, that you know, don’t punish 98% of people for what you’re afraid 2% will get away. So the best context I could bring that back to is if you borrow someone’s pickup truck to move furniture, you know, give them that pickup truck cleaner and with more gas and how they gave it to you.
Kelly Meerbott 14:12:12
Yeah, that’s I do that all the time. In fact, there have been times when I’ve washed a rental car because it was like, you know, just because it for me, it felt like the right thing to do. So I’m going to wrap up our conversation as much as I hate to because I could really talk to you forever. And anybody who has the chance please pick up John’s book. It’s tell us the title John.
John Dijulius 14:12:37
The most recent was the relationship economy, stronger customer connections in a digital age, but it’s as much for your personal life than it is for your professional life.
Kelly Meerbott 14:12:48
I’m about a third of the way through it and I can tell you it’s got 10 times the ROI than you you’re gonna spend on the book and John is is a is a great mind of our age, and you’d be sorely mistaken if you don’t buy it. But let’s get to those four rapid fire questions. So what’s your favorite comfort food?
John Dijulius 14:13:08
I don’t eat it anymore. I always say if he gave me the you know my last meal if I was you know, whatever going to the chair tomorrow, it would be Cocoa Krispies. Bola Cocoa Krispies double stuff Oreos, big glass of milk. But, um, what do I enjoy? I don’t know. I’m I’m really improved my eating habits and you know, it’s really a boring so if I have a cheat day it might be you know, I love Italian food. Pizza. I mean, how can you go wrong with pizza? Yeah,
Kelly Meerbott 14:13:41
right. Right. I’m half Italian. So you’re speaking my language? Of course. I don’t eat it any more either. But, okay, so what songs are in your playlist?
John Dijulius 14:13:52
That’s a good question. I love my you know, my playlist. I don’t know if there’s anyone like James Blunt and Dave Matthews.
Kelly Meerbott 14:14:00
Oh, I love Dave Matthews.
John Dijulius 14:14:03
I love all these I love Neil Diamond and you know stuff like that. I have it all over the place. You know from from again childhood songs to you know think you know eras I love you know, because we all remember what we were doing and and you know, the the mullet I had back when that’s popular and REO Speedwagon, ecc and you know, Rod Stewart and concerts and all that I do have something really cool that maybe people could say, my first concert was Elvis Presley.
Kelly Meerbott 14:14:35
No, really?
John Dijulius 14:14:37
You were in Cleveland. I mean, I was 10. And I will tell you, this is the coolest thing. So you know, this was like a 1974. And, you know, he’d be playing I was really far away in the seats, but the lights would go off what seemed to be a couple seconds, and then it come back on. And he would be in a completely different like, you know, bling, bling, you know, suit, you know, he was always a really crazy dresser and the way you know, his background would be then the lights would go off after a song and go back and he’d be and it was just like, and then one time the lights went off. And they stayed off and the announcer said Elvis has left the building.
Kelly Meerbott 14:15:17
Oh my god, I just got chills. Yeah, so
John Dijulius 14:15:20
that’s my goal. I always wanted to be such a rock star that you know, someone had it. Come on, I want you to do that. We’ll end this podcast.
Kelly Meerbott 14:15:26
Okay. I will say John Dijulius has left the building. So, dovetailing off of the music do you have a walk up song when you give your keynotes like I always wanted, there’s a song by Little Wayne called right above it and it’s just, I don’t know it just Jazz’s me up and gets me ready to talk. So do you have something that you’d like to lay before you take do
John Dijulius 14:15:49
it’s the Revolution by the Beatles. Because my my second, the last book is called the customer service revolution. And that’s our mission statement to change the world by credit customer service revolution. And as you said, My title is the chief revolution officer.
Kelly Meerbott 14:16:05
Yeah, well, that makes sense. i That’s a great song. Okay, what what books are on your nightstand,
John Dijulius 14:16:11
I try to read, you know, multiple books. And it’s not that I read more than anyone, I just want to, I need to water a lot of different areas in my life. And so if I only read a business book, then you know, for the next month, then, you know, I could start suffering, as you know, in relationships or motivation or health. And so I’m always trying to read, you know, a little bit on each as often but what I’m reading right now, the primary one is, the title says, yes, your teenager is crazy.
Kelly Meerbott 14:16:44
I love that you switch up books like that, because I do too. And I try to switch between novels and stuff. Because I find myself like, like you were talking about going down rabbit holes with personal development, and I’m like, I really need to switch it up. So I love that you do that. Okay. Last question. What are you most grateful for in this moment, right now?
John Dijulius 14:17:04
My relationships, you know, you know where I am today is 100% a result of the incredible people I have in my life? And you know, I think, you know, if there was an award for, you know, having, you know, the best relationships, I’d be a world champ. I mean, I’m just so lucky for the people that are in my life. I count my blessings every day, from my kids, to my closest friends, to the people that work with me.
Kelly Meerbott 14:17:36
Well, we’re grateful that you shared your time with us. It’s such a gift. And if any organization or CEO wanted to reach out and hire the revolutionary relationship guru, who is John to Dijulius, how would they do that?
14:17:50
They can come to theDijuliusgroup.com Or email me at John@theDijuliusgroup.com. And it’s J O HN. Correct. Jo HN. The DiJulius di ju li u s group.com
Kelly Meerbott 14:18:06
Perfect. Well, John, you are about to leave the building. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and real. And to our listeners. It’s our intention that this podcast inspires you to go out. Have authentic conversations in order to deepen the connections and relationships in your life. Thank you so much, and make it a great day.
14:18:29
You be listening to hidden human, the stories behind the business leader. If you’ve enjoyed the episode, please subscribe to the podcast on iTunes. To learn more about Kelly and the services she provides. Visit you loud and clear.com Thanks so much for listening, and we’ll be back soon with a new episode.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/toggle][/toggles][/vc_column][/vc_row]
