You’re managing a challenging workplace, armed not with weapons, but with words, wisdom, and wit. For female leaders, the professional environment can often feel like a battlefield of mansplaining where every meeting or conversation tests your resilience.
From subtle digs to blatant dismissals, you must be prepared to navigate these dynamics. Over the past 15 years, I’ve guided women through this minefield, witnessing how smart strategies can turn obstacles into opportunities for growth and respect.
What Mansplaining Is & Why It Matters
Mansplaining isn’t just a trendy word—it’s the frustrating experience of a man assuming superiority, explaining something to you as if you lack expertise in a field you’ve mastered. It’s a condescending dismissal that can undermine your authority, sap your confidence, and create a culture of disrespect in the workplace.
Mastering the Art of Managing Up
Managing up is like steering through stormy seas. While you can’t control the waves, you can master your course. For female leaders, this isn’t just a nice-to-have skill—it’s essential for maintaining authority in the face of mansplaining and other undermining behaviors from higher-ups.
Here are 8 powerful strategies to navigate these situations with grace and strength.
1. When Your Boss Mansplains Your Own Ideas
Imagine this: You present a well-researched idea in a meeting, and your boss leans back, grins, and restates your concept like you’re a child. Don’t let frustration derail you. Instead, calmly assert yourself:
“Thank you for summarizing my solution. That aligns with the recommendation I proposed earlier. Let’s explore how we can implement this together.”
2. Know What Makes Your Boss Tick
Be an astute observer of your boss’s preferences. Whether they’re data-driven or appreciate brevity, tailor your communication to match their style. This isn’t manipulation; it’s strategic alignment.
“I know your priority is hitting our quarterly targets, so I’ve prepared a data-driven proposal that aligns with those goals. Shall we go over it together?”
3. Frame Your Ideas as Solutions
Present your ideas as solutions to the problems that matter most to your boss. This makes it harder for them to dismiss your input, shifting the conversation from your expertise to their needs.
“I’ve noticed we’re struggling with team productivity. I’ve developed a plan to streamline processes—how do you think this aligns with our current objectives?”
4. Arm Yourself with Data
When mansplaining strikes, don’t get emotional—get factual. Support your points with data that’s impossible to ignore.
“Our market analysis shows a 20% gap in our strategy. Here’s the data supporting my recommendation to close that gap.”
5. Communicate Assertively
Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive. It means standing your ground with respect and clarity. When interrupted or undermined, reclaim the floor confidently:
“I appreciate your input, but I’m already familiar with that. Here’s why what I’m proposing addresses the underlying issue.”
6. Build a Network of Allies
As I said in part one of this series, strength comes in numbers. Build relationships with female leaders and male colleagues who understand the challenges you face. They can offer support, amplify your voice, and provide critical advice.
“I’ve been facing challenges with my boss’s feedback. Can we discuss strategies you’ve used in similar situations?”
7. Keep a Paper Trail
Documentation is your silent advocate. Keep detailed records of your contributions to ensure your work is recognized. This can be invaluable when it comes to performance reviews or disputes.
“I’ve kept a log of our meetings and my contributions. I can provide documentation to support our progress.”
8. Know When to Escalate
If the situation doesn’t improve despite your efforts, it’s time to escalate. Don’t hesitate to involve HR or seek external support to protect your career.
“I’ve tried to address this directly, but the ongoing issues are impacting my ability to contribute. I’d like to discuss this with HR to find a resolution.”
How to Stay Safe from Retaliation & Stand Strong
The fear of retaliation is real, but it shouldn’t paralyze you. With the right strategies, you can minimize risk while maintaining your integrity and progressing in your career.
• Pick Your Battles
Not every instance of mansplaining requires confrontation. Focus on the moments that truly matter and conserve your energy for bigger issues.
“I appreciate your perspective, but let’s prioritize [critical issue] for now and revisit other concerns later.”
• Stay Professional
Channel any frustration into constructive communication. Keep your tone professional and your focus sharp.
“I’m committed to finding a solution that works for both of us. Let’s discuss how we can move forward productively.”
• Build a Positive Relationship with Your Boss
Even in the face of mansplaining, fostering a relationship based on mutual respect can help reduce conflict and minimize the risk of retaliation.
“I’m excited about the direction we’re heading. How can I best support our goals to ensure we succeed together?”
Thrive Despite the Mansplainers
As a female leader, you’re here to do more than survive—you’re here to thrive. By understanding your boss’s triggers, framing your ideas as solutions, and standing firm in your expertise, you can command the respect you deserve. This journey may be challenging, but with every step, you grow more confident, resilient, and successful.
Kelly Meerbott, PCC is a renowned expert in executive leadership. 90% of Kelly’s clients achieve their goals, underscoring the effectiveness of her methods. As a keynote speaker, author, and podcast host, Kelly continues to influence the field of executive leadership. Currently accepting new clients for 2025.
Discover how her coaching can transform your leadership journey.
