E27: Healing and Growing After Trauma

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[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][divider line_type=”Full Width Line” line_thickness=”1″ divider_color=”default” animate=”yes” delay=”50″][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row type=”in_container” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” overlay_strength=”0.3″ shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_link_target=”_self” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” overlay_strength=”0.3″ column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” text_align=”left”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” overlay_strength=”0.3″ column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]Annemarie du LeBohn joins the program to discuss how she overcame trauma that she experienced as a young woman. She reveals how she used the struggles that ensued to springboard her into becoming a TED speaker, and founding her own company dedicated to helping others develop a healthy, mind, body and home.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row type=”full_width_background” full_screen_row_position=”middle” column_margin=”default” scene_position=”center” text_color=”dark” text_align=”left” top_padding=”0″ bottom_padding=”7%” class=”custom-p” overlay_strength=”0.3″ shape_divider_position=”bottom” bg_image_animation=”none” shape_type=””][vc_column column_padding=”no-extra-padding” column_padding_position=”left-right” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_link_target=”_self” column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” tablet_text_alignment=”default” phone_text_alignment=”default” overlay_strength=”0.3″ column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][toggles style=”default”][toggle color=”Default” title=”Episode Transcription”][vc_row_inner column_margin=”default” text_align=”left”][vc_column_inner column_padding=”padding-3-percent” column_padding_position=”all” background_color_opacity=”1″ background_hover_color_opacity=”1″ column_shadow=”none” column_border_radius=”none” column_link_target=”_self” width=”1/1″ tablet_width_inherit=”default” overlay_strength=”0.3″ column_border_width=”none” column_border_style=”solid” bg_image_animation=”none”][vc_column_text]Speaker 1:
Welcome to Hidden Human, the podcast where we explore the stories behind the business leader. Get ready to hit insights from business leaders speaking candidly about how they became who they are today and the lessons they learned along the way. And now here’s your host, leadership coach and speaker Kelly Meerbott.

Kelly Meerbott:
Welcome to this space where we reveal our personal humanity to reconnect with our shared humanity. Let’s begin our conversation with Annmarie du LeBohn, CEO at Tri Management Group. Welcome Annmarie, thank you so much for joining us. How are you today?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Oh, good morning. I’m doing really well. Thank you for the conversation. I appreciate being here.

Kelly Meerbott:
So if I were a six year old child and you needed to explain to me in a way I could understand what it is that you do at Tri Management Group, how would you explain that?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Great question. I provide training to adults, primarily the military. And is professional development training that primarily focuses on preventing destructive behaviors such as drug and alcohol abuse, suicide, domestic violence and sexual assault.

Kelly Meerbott:
Gotcha. Now those are all really, really heavy and very relevant topics, especially in today’s day and age. What was it in your soul that drew you to this work?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Well, I tell you it’s a purpose driven life, as some people would say. And I had never imagined myself doing something like this. I had envisioned my life working in professional sports, which I had done for a number of years, and in broadcasting. But I have a personal experience of surviving sexual assault. And about 10 years ago in 2010 I started speaking about it. And I was reluctant to speak about it at first because this was well before the “Me Too” movement, and so people didn’t want to discuss it. It’s a very uncomfortable taboo subject. But I had found peace with what had happened to me by racing an Ironman triathlon, which I know sounds completely crazy, but I was dealing with a lot of PTSD because of what had happened to me some 30 years earlier.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
And just being a natural athlete something told me I needed to do this race even though I had never done anything on that kind of a scale before. But the training for the race and the race itself really helped me deal with living in the moment, it helped me understand triggers, it helped me set goals and find support groups and be accountable. And it was such an amazing process to take my mindset from being a victim to a warrior, that when I crossed the finish line I was just at such a peaceful place. And then when I was asked to share my story to a national women’s group, I was very reluctant to do it, but my instinct said to do it just as my instinct said to race Ironman.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
And at the end of that first speech a number of women came up to me afterwards and shared their stories of dealing with some form of trauma, whether it was a sexual assault or domestic violence, or it was getting fired from a job, or losing money, or dealing with alcoholism ,or going through a divorce that. You know, there’s a number of different elements of trauma that cause people to have a lot of distress and cause people to make destructive behaviors.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
And I realized that my story is bigger than myself, that I needed to keep sharing it and speaking about it. And not just talking about the actual trauma itself, which can be very therapeutic for people, but showing people that they don’t have to let that experience define them, that they can thrive and succeed in life even because of the trauma. And that’s something that’s called post traumatic growth, where people can grow and thrive in life because of trauma. And that made such a difference in my life from living in a world where PTSD, to living in a world with post traumatic growth. And I wanted to share it. And so little by little I started speaking and sharing and talking to people. And next thing I know I’m speaking to the California Joint Forces headquarters, and speaking to a Brigadier General and to her leaders. And the next thing I know I’ve got a program that is geared towards the military, and now traveling the world.

Kelly Meerbott:
I mean, Annemarie. Yeah, I mean, for anybody who’s listened to the podcast, you would probably know that I’m a two time sexual assault survivor. Which is not a club that Annmarie or I would want anybody to be a part of. But once you are, it’s like recognizes like. And I have so many questions about what you just shared with us. And first of all, thank you so much for the honor of being able to hold space for you to tell your story in an empowering way. To me it’s… I’m getting a little choked up. I don’t know why I’ve been so emotionally lately. So my first question is, take me to the moment, okay, right before you’re about to step on stage and deliver your story for the first time. What was going through you emotionally, and what was going on in your body somatically?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Oh gosh, [inaudible 00:06:21] that’s such a great question, Kelly. Such a great question because I was full of fear. Just fear. Because I’ll take you back a little bit further. Doing the Ironman, I had a goal to, one, turn my body into an Ironman. I was 49 at the time. But more importantly I wanted to see, could I do the entire race without a negative thought? I was having a hard time before the race [crosstalk 00:06:52] going… Yeah. And for those who don’t know the course of an Ironman, you swim 2.4 miles in an open water, so not a pool. It could be a Lake or an ocean or a river. And then you ride a bike 112 miles. And then you do a full marathon, 26.2 miles. And athletes are given 17 hours to finish the course. And I really wanted to see, could I do this without a negative thought? It really took the whole year to discipline my mind to really understand triggers and to really get into it, because our mind is our most powerful muscle.

Kelly Meerbott:
Oh yeah. And mine projects on body, so if you’re not working on the projector. Okay, so let’s get a little bit more granular. And I’m sorry for interrupting, but I’m so interested in this piece of it, because as an athlete myself, when you take your body to that kind of physical extreme, and I know you’re going to validate this with what you say, it makes you face your demons. Like every fear. It’s like the mind is stripped away and you’re left with your body, your heart and your soul. So a negative thought arises in the beginning. How do you discipline your mind to change it or choose something different? What did you do?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Well you know, Kelly, that is such a great question because I was not aware of my negative thoughts. I was not aware of what caused them or how to change them. And I just knew I had a lot of them. And it’s like this free flow. All of a sudden you’re thinking about one thing and then all of a sudden the next thing you know you’re thinking about something else. As I was training, I really trying to become aware of living in the moment and become aware of my negative thoughts. And many times in the beginning of training I might go for a run, I’m not a very good runner. I’m a good swimmer, a good cyclist, terrible runner.

Kelly Meerbott:
Mm-hmm (affirmative), me too.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Yeah, I prefer to walk, you know? But at the end of the day you have to run a marathon. And I was running and all of a sudden I’d find myself just being full of anger. And I couldn’t figure out why. And the more I was running, every time I’d run I’d try to think, when is the moment that my mind became angry or frustrated or mad, or whatever it was? The negative thought was. Or the emotion was. And slowly but surely I started realizing, it took over a number of months, but I started realizing things that were causing me to become negative.

Kelly Meerbott:
Okay. Like for example? Give me an example.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Oh my gosh. Wind. I get so angry when I’m cycling in the wind. You talk to any of my training buddies and they laugh because I can deal with it for a little bit, but all of a sudden I just become pissed off. And it’s not at anybody or anything, but the wind is holding you back and it’s pushing you in places. And if you’re tired or if you haven’t eaten really well, or whatever it might be, it just adds to the list of things that adds to the frustration. And so then all of a sudden I get to a point where I’m just cussing. I’m thinking, why am I cussing? Why am I angry now? And-

Kelly Meerbott:
So I’m going to stop you there because I do a lot of high intensity training and indoor cycling and stuff like that. And I always say the best class is the one that it brings up prayers and profanity. Where you’re like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. And then you go, oh my God, please help, please help, please help. You know what I mean? It’s one of those things. So when you were saying this, it’s interesting. And the whole imagery of the resistance against you and you pushing against, and the wind pushing you and pushing your buttons. And I’m sure triggering things in your mind. I mean, I’m right there with you. And I’m just wondering, obviously it’s one of those things, like lately I’ve been saying when a negative thought comes up, I’ll say to myself, I’m choosing something different. I’m choosing an alternative. So was there a practice like that as things came up for you as you’re training for this Ironman? Which by the way is no joke. I mean, it’s ridiculous. And where did you do the Ironman, by the way?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
That one was in Arizona. Tempe, Arizona. Yeah. Let me step back even a little bit further because of what had happened to me through the assaults. And so I’m going to step back and share a little bit of detail regarding the assault. It really happened with somebody I did not know, he was a stalker. And for four years stalked me and tried to kill me twice, once through strangulation was through shooting at me, and also raped me twice during those four years. And at that time there were no resources. There was no such thing as an 800 rape hotline, locally, regionally and nationally, globally. This is back in [crosstalk 00:12:28]-

Kelly Meerbott:
When was this?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
1980 is when it started.

Kelly Meerbott:
Oh, gotcha. Okay. All right. Yeah, absolutely.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
And I didn’t have confidence at the time in myself too. I knew I should speak up and say something. Instinctively I wanted to, but I had such fear. Almost instantaneously I had shame related to it. The plan before all of this happened was to save myself until I had gotten married. So I was a very naive virgin and I just thought the problem would go away. And only did it morph into this terrible time period of him stalking me. And the more the time went by, I felt like the more I couldn’t say anything because I didn’t say anything in the beginning. So I became a strong emotional runner.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
So if something bothered me I would avoid it. Great procrastinator when it came to my emotions. And you move that forward to Ironman training and you have to deal with your emotions. You’re on 100 mile bike ride and 50 miles of it is dealing with wind. And maybe it’s the last 50 miles, so the first 50 miles you got a tailwind and you’re having this great time and it’s a beautiful day and you’re moving really fast. And all of a sudden you turn around to go home and now you have massive headwinds.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
You can’t get around it. You have to do it. You have to ride your bike for 50 miles, you have to deal with the wind. And you have to figure out how to deal with your emotions. And I was really struggling for the majority of that year of training to figure out how to deal with my emotions. So to answer your question, what I realized, especially when I had my core friends and training partners with me, it’s really difficult, I think in most elements of life, to ask for help.

Kelly Meerbott:
Yes. Yes.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Yeah, so what I found is really easy is to say, I need an attitude adjustment. So that’s what I would yell out to when I’m riding or when I’m running. I’d say to my friends, I need an attitude adjustment. And instantly we would stop.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Just give me five minutes to re-breathe, to think different thoughts. They would do something usually to make me laugh, to change my attitude. And okay, I’m ready to go. That’s what made the difference in regards to becoming aware of my negative emotions and then trying to find ways to adjust them and then move forward. And so by the time race day came, I was really aware of those negative triggers. And by then I was anticipating them. And when you can anticipate a negative trigger, you can prepare for it. So by the time it happens, you’re already ready. You can move past it and it’s not a big deal.

Kelly Meerbott:
Yeah. Oh my gosh. Okay. So loop us back around. So we’ve got this whole setting of the Ironman in the background, warrior princess, just head down, pushing forward in those headwinds. And take me back to that moment again, you’re right about to step on stage to talk to this women’s group about what happened. How do you leverage all of that? Let’s, for lack of a better phrase, staring down your demons. How do you leverage that experience to help all of those women out there by talking about such a vulnerable and life shattering situation?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Yeah. Gosh Kelly, that’s such a great question. You have wonderful questions. And what I found surprising before I got on stage is the amount of fear that I had. So what got me to that stage is after the Ironman was done, USAT, which is the sanctioning body for these triathlons, USA Triathlon, USAT, they featured me in their international magazine as an inspirational athlete. And when that opportunity came to share it, same kind of a feeling happened when right before I got on stage is like, oh my gosh. Because up until Ironman, really most people in my life did not know what had happened to me. My family did not know. My father did not know. Most of my friends did not know. I just kept it as a really deep secret. And so when I crossed the finish line, now I’m good.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
I’m at peace. I don’t need to talk about this. And up until then I did, I wanted to talk about it because I wanted to get it out of my system. I wanted to try to find some peace with it. But nobody really wanted to talk about it. And I understand, it’s an uncomfortable topic. And then I’m asked to speak about it. I’m asked to share it through this magazine article. And I had a tremendous amount of fear in sharing it because I thought, how can anyone write about this story without me looking like a victim? And that was the one thing I wanted from Ironman, is I no longer wanted to feel like a victim. I wanted to take my mindset from a victim to a warrior. But the article came out and I thought the journalist did a wonderful job in sharing a story without making me look like a victim.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
But then, when I was asked to get on stage and share it, I thought, how am I going to share this story without looking like a victim? I had never gotten on a stage before. And I mean, I had given some speeches here and there in my career, but nothing like this. And the room was full of about, it was about 600, 400 or 600 women in the real estate world. And I knew a number of them, but none of them knew my story. And I couldn’t figure it out. So I created a list of things that I learned from racing Ironman, 10 things that I learned that I thought could be applied in any day life. Like the importance of getting rest, the importance of creating a support group, the importance of setting goals. And so I had on this whole list of things, but still, when I got on stage. The beauty of that particular moment, and the setting logistically, is the stage was up.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
So I looked down and there was light shining on me, so I really couldn’t see the audience. I could see maybe a few people in the front row and I knew who they were and they were good people, good friends of mine. And they knew what I was going to be speaking about. So I looked at them, I tried not to think about who was in the room. And I remember just thinking, you could hear a pin drop. And I couldn’t tell if people were being connected to what I was saying or not. And-

Kelly Meerbott:
Oh yeah, because you couldn’t see them.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
I couldn’t see them. And I was amazed by how could I go from Ironman and having such a mindset of being this warrior, to all of a sudden going back and having so much fear and frustration. And I was frustrated with myself, but I knew I had to share the message. And I really just thought it’s one… Like when I was racing Ironman the thought was, you break it down to the ridiculous. To live in the moment it’s just one stroke, one pedal, one step at a time. And on the stage I just thought, okay, just one minute, just do this, do this, do this. And I really understood what I was going to be saying, the structure, what I was going to be saying. So instead of thinking of the big picture I just thought, you got a process here. Just get through it.

Kelly Meerbott:
Okay. So I have a lot of questions, and I’m going to interrupt you here because I’m, again, I’m standing shoulder to shoulder with you on the stage. How does your fear manifest itself? Or how did it at the time?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Gosh, it manifested itself because 30 some years of looking and feeling, not looking, but feeling like a victim.

Kelly Meerbott:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Annemarie du LeBohn:
And seeing myself as one way. And I realize that it’s going to take a lot more than one year of training and then racing an Ironman to change the image I have of myself. And yes, the race helped tremendously, but I still had work to do to see myself differently. I could see myself as being a warrior when I’m racing, when I’m doing something athletic. But could I see myself that way in everyday business life? No. I did not see myself that way at that time.

Kelly Meerbott:
I mean, that’s amazing. And that actually is a perfect segue to the followup question. So for me there was a distinct moment when I literally in my mind saw a switch flip from victim to survivor. And it was this whole, and even as I’m talking to you about it I feel goosebumps covering my body, and I’m just wondering about that moment for you. Did you have one distinguishing moment or did it just evolve over time where you healed yourself and you looked at all these wounds that you were carrying and healed them, shifted and started down the path of the warrior?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
I wish I could say that there was one moment. I wish I could. But for me it’s really been a process. And then one day it might happen and I’m like, oh, I don’t see myself as that anymore.

Kelly Meerbott:
Right.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
I see myself as this, you know? And because there’s so many different elements to life. And for each of those elements I had to create a new vision of who I was, how I saw myself, or how other people saw me. And we are our worst critic. [inaudible 00:23:38]. And what amazes me is I might see myself as this victim, let’s say years ago I see myself as some victim. But so many people in my life did not see me that way. And partly because they didn’t know what had happened, and partly because of the things that I was doing.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
I had a really great career, a fun career in pro sports. I worked for the Angels baseball team and the Mighty Ducks hockey team. I worked for a number of different broadcast networks and I did lot of traveling. Some the people I hung out with, some might say, are exciting people or interesting people. But deep down inside I saw myself one way and other people were looking at my life seeing in a different way. So only until after Ironman when people started hearing about my story and what had happened, they would come up and say, oh my gosh, I didn’t know this had happened. I always thought of you as this way, or you know. And I started realizing, wow, it was me, not others, who just saw myself as the victim. I had painted myself in that corner and so many other people didn’t see that.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
And I thought, oh gosh. And one of the… Oh, you know what, I do have a moment where it was really life altering. But that moment was such a silly moment. It was a moment where I was having some fear, it was late at night. I was raising a new puppy, a puppy for the Guide Dogs of America. It was really a great experience. And this puppy needed to go outside, and as they say, get busy. It was late at night and I had to go outside to of course let the dog get busy. And I had so much fear in my life at that time of somebody seeing me that I didn’t know was watching me. I didn’t want to go outside. I was fearful that other people were going to be watching me.

Kelly Meerbott:
Right.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
And so I grabbed what I call a weapon of choice. A pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice cream. And found a dark spot in the corner of the yard to go hang out. And it was a beautiful, beautiful night. It was a summertime and it was a really warm breeze outside and I can see the stars. And I just had this really beautiful, peaceful moment. And I just realized if all of that craziness had not had happened to me, who would I be? What would I be thinking about? Where would I be putting my energy? Where would I be living? Where would I be really putting my energy towards? And I thought, I don’t know, but I want to become that person. Because I had become this victim on my own self doing. You know? I mean, I’m not taking any blame away from this doctor.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
I’m not doing that. But the choices that I made after, I have to take responsibility for that. [crosstalk 00:27:01] And I find a lot of people don’t like to hear me talk about this. I’ve had people complain to me saying that I am blaming myself for what had happened, as opposed to blaming the stalker and the rapist for what had happened in my life. And I have to make it clear, I am in no way letting him off the hook. He did some horrific things to me. But, that aside, after that’s all said and done, I made some bad choices. Like not going and getting counseling, not bringing him to justice, not filing a police report. And then a number of other choices that I made because of that, bad choices that were for me. And at that moment, that evening when I’m with at my Chunky Monkey ice cream, I’m realizing I have to become who I was meant to be. And I hadn’t done that.

Kelly Meerbott:
Yeah. I mean, I totally hear you. I totally hear you on all of that. I mean, my moment was a very soft… And I can’t even tell you where I was. I mean, I know I was probably in church or at a retreat or something like that. But the phrase that floated into my mind was, you don’t have to be that anymore. You know? And I think, yeah, well… And what I heard you saying, when you say, I’m taking responsibility, see, what people don’t realize is when you point the finger at somebody else, you give your power away. Because if you’re the creator of everything in your life. So if you’re pointing at somebody else, and again, I’m not taking away anything that the three men did to me either.

Kelly Meerbott:
But at the same time, I can make a choice whether to mentally flagellate myself with the image and blame myself my whole life, or I can use that crappy situation and leverage it to help others who may experience something equally as painful. Which is, that’s what I heard you doing. You know? And I know that’s how you live your life. So what would you say to someone who’s in that tender situation where maybe they’ve just experienced sexual assault or some trauma equally as significant?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
I would say that they are worth fighting for. Their life is worth fighting for. They have value to themselves. And this moment, whatever that was, whether it was a natural disaster, or they’ve lost their money, they’re going through a divorce, or someone is bullying them, or they’ve been sexually assaulted, or they’ve seen something violent happen. They’ve been part of some sort of a mass shooting, whatever it is. And they’re struggling with it. First of all, PTSD usually seeps in within two weeks of some horrific moment and some sort of trauma. And about 20% of people get PTSD. So know the signs, of the anxiety, of the frustration, of the anger, of the nightmares, or whatever it is. Know the signs.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
And if they find that those signs are sticking with them for two weeks, PTSD is seeping in. And the sooner that they can go and get counseling. And counseling, by the way, is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not saying that you’re a weak. In fact, it’s the opposite, saying that you are strong, that you are powerful and you’re taking responsibility for your life. And what’s happening is when you go to counseling you’re finding someone that is not emotionally connected to you at all, that’s helping you process something that you’ve seen that you can’t quite process.

Kelly Meerbott:
Yeah.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
And that the soon… Yes, the sooner that they can go and have someone help them process that moment, the sooner and the faster that they’ll heal from it. It took me 15 years before I got counseling. Because I kept saying, what is someone going to say to me that I already haven’t said to myself?

Kelly Meerbott:
100%. It’s so funny that you say that Annemarie, because when I went to a psychiatrist, because I’m a big believer in therapy. And my mom recognized that I had PTSD before I did, and she said, you’re going to a counselor, but I think you really need to go to a doctor who really understands the brain because there’s a mind-body connection there. And I remember going into this woman Dr. [Lookabow 00:31:56], she was amazing. And she was a marathon runner too.

Kelly Meerbott:
I sat down in her office and I spilled my whole story. I had done this many times before with other therapists. And I looked at her and I go, okay, now how are you going to help me? Like all defensive and everything. Like I’ve told this [crosstalk 00:32:17] story… Right? You get so much attitude. You’re just like, okay lady, what are you going to do? And she looked at me, looked quietly up from her clipboard and she goes, I think you’re suffering from PTSD. And I was like, oh yeah, why do you think that? And she read through the symptoms and ticked them all off. And I’m like, yep, you’re right. Okay, what do we do now? How do we fix it?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
What I love about this story is I can tell you were at a point where you were sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Kelly Meerbott:
Yep, I was done.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Like, let’s just fix it. And that’s what took me to as well. You can go to counseling all you want, but until you get to a point where you want to change, like you are done thinking a certain way, being a certain way, eating a certain way, living a certain way, whatever it is. Then that’s when miracles happen. Yeah.

Kelly Meerbott:
Oh exactly.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
And the cool thing that you and I have in common as well is that, I went to three counselors before I found the right one. And that’s important for people to know as well, that sometimes you’re going to go to one, two or three people before you find someone that you’re going to connect with. And you don’t have to stick with the first person.

Kelly Meerbott:
Yeah.

Annemarie du LeBohn:
You have to have some sort of a game plan and know that whoever you’re talking to also has a game plan that can help you fix it. It’s like, you do an Ironman, I needed to find people who were training like me that have the same goals as I did it. The game plan. I mean if I was trained with somebody who was going to do a sprint triathlon, it’d never work.

Kelly Meerbott:
Right. [crosstalk 00:33:59] Because it didn’t match. Yep. You’re so right too. And I think, just to reiterate and really reinforce this, as a trauma survivor you do not have to walk this path alone. You don’t. You just don’t. There are people out there. And it’s so funny that you say, keep trying until you find the right person. I mean, there was this one guy, he was a psychiatrist, I’m not going to tell you where. And it was one of those things where he would book people on every 15 minutes. You know what I mean? And I remember feeling like the appointments kept getting shorter and shorter. So one day I timed him before he wrote me a script, and it was a minute and 30 seconds before he basically was like, okay, we’re done. So, listen, we’re at the 33 minute mark and I could talk to you forever. But one last thing for people who are listening to this from generations from now, what wisdom would you have to impart to them?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
That they are worth fighting for. And that doesn’t necessarily mean having somebody else fight for them, they have to fight for themselves. For the life that they want. And have a game plan. And also that you’re never too old to become who you’re meant to be.

Kelly Meerbott:
100%. Oh my gosh, you’re walking miracle, sister. I just adore you. So let’s wrap this. And will you come back so we can talk some more?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Yes, absolutely. Any time.

Kelly Meerbott:
Great. Okay. [crosstalk 00:35:48]. Yeah, me too. Okay. So I like to usually end my interviews with four rapid fire questions that are really just fun. So what’s your favorite comfort food besides Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Chocolate chip cookies.

Kelly Meerbott:
Yum. Okay. So soft chocolate chip cookies or crunchy?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Doesn’t matter.

Kelly Meerbott:
All right. So what books are on your nightstand right now?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Oh, that’s a really great question. I have the Plant Paradox by Dr. Steven Gundry, and the Bible.

Kelly Meerbott:
Good. Okay. What songs are on your playlist right now?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
I couldn’t tell you who they are because I’ve just signed on to Amazon music and my go-to channel is new and upcoming artists, so I like exploring new things. So I don’t know who they are, but I like the music.

Kelly Meerbott:
Is there a specific [crosstalk 00:36:49] genre that you like better than others?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
No, I love them all. [crosstalk 00:36:55] I go from Tupac to Bruce Springsteen, to Alan Jackson. Yeah, it’s all good.

Kelly Meerbott:
Okay, so let me dovetail off of that. Just real quick. What song do you listen to you before an Ironman to get yourself psyched up?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Ozzy Osbourne, it’s Crazy Train. And U2, A Beautiful Day.

Kelly Meerbott:
Oh, so good. Okay, final question. What are you most grateful for in this moment right now?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
Everything. Absolutely everything. I am. The good and the bad, it’s all beautiful. I love that I’ve created this life where I feel there’s a purpose to it, that people are receptive to the conversation. And that I’m connecting to wonderful people like you.

Kelly Meerbott:
Oh my God, you’re going to make me cry. Okay. So if people wanted to reach out to you for work with the Tri Management Group, how would they get to you?

Annemarie du LeBohn:
They can send me an email at yes, Y-E-S. Yes@trigroup.biz. Tri, T-R-I, like short for triathlon. Group.biz. B-I-Z.

Kelly Meerbott:
Thank you so much, Annemarie, for being vulnerable, for being real, for sharing your heart and soul with us and to our listeners. It’s our intention that this podcast inspires you to go out and have authentic conversations, to deepen the connections in your life. Thank you so much for listening and make it a great day.

Speaker 1:
You’ve been listening to Hidden Human, the stories behind the business leader. If you’ve enjoyed the episode, please subscribe to the podcast on iTunes. To learn more about Kelly and the services she provides, visit youloudandclear.com. Thanks so much for listening, and we’ll be back soon with a new episode.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column_inner][/vc_row_inner][/toggle][/toggles][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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